Hard Questions

I was drying Nathan off after his bath, when he looked down, pointed to the small red spots on his chest and asked, "Dad, what are these things?" Believing honesty and openness to be superior to alternatives, I informed him, "those are called 'nipples'." "Why do we have them?" he inquired. "Well, we'd look kind of funny without them - God made us this way." I was really hoping to avoid the whole "difference between boys and girls" discussion, but he opened the door and we had to go in...

N: "Dad, why do ladies have big huge nipples?"
D: "Well... the nipple is just the little part - the rest is called a 'breast'."
N: "But why do ladies have big, pokey, jiggly ones?"
(Uh-oh... I need some wisdom here, God!)
N: "They have big, scary MONSTER ones that bounce around!"
(Scary! Ok, maybe it's good for him to be afraid of "them" at his age...)
D: "You see, men can't have babies - only ladies, and God made them have those kind of breasts so that they can feed their babies when they're born." (Please, God, please help!)
N: "Dad, did you know they have little, itty-bitty holes in 'em and they fill up with milk so their babies can suck on them and get the milk out?"


Whoah! Did he just...? Isn't he just five?! I'm thinking he got his info from Laura, but I'm still nervous about what questions are coming at SIX!